Poems From The Battlefield

Wow! That was quick!
On Wednesday I ordered a copy of Katherine's new book from her publisher. They told me it would take a while as each book is printed to order so I expected a longish wait.
This morning (Saturday) the postie handed me my copy, hot off the presses in the USA and here in my hand three days after I placed the order.
I'm impressed!

But never mind the publisher's efficiency, what about the book itself?

You all should know by now that I am a huge fan of our Katherine's poetry.
If any of you have not yet had the pleasure of reading any, click HERE to see just a tiny example.

I know it's a bit of a cliché but she is the real thing.
My lovely new book now nestles amidst my very favourite poetry books and fully deserves its place there.

I was going to do a little review of it, but I know I'd just get embarrassingly gushy and suck my thesaurus dry of superlatives, so instead, here are a few pictures to give an impression of how beautiful the book is.
I strongly recommend you buy a copy yourself and do your own review.

Katherine lives close to the Manassas Battlefield Park and walks both there and in Bull Run Regional Park, taking beautiful photos which can be seen on her blogs, and gathering inspiration for her poems.

The book is an amalgam of photographs - both period and contemporary - quotations and poems and is as much a meditation on life and the nature of good and evil as it is an historical record.

From the reflective and beautiful to the shattering and heartrending, Katherine's poems affect me deeply and hopefully they will do the same for you.

I shall treasure this book and return to it again and again for inspiration and reassurance.

Thank you, Katherine. You totally rule! Your book is all that I expected and more … absolutely wonderful.

Now the rest of you can go buy it from Katherine's store (click here).

Another Year Gone

Sheesh! Time flies.
Yesterday evening saw the very last Japanese class of the academic year.
Sigh …
No more college until September.
I miss it already.
Hey ho.

Here's the sunset over Breydon Water that I took coming home from class last night at getting on for half nine.

2012 Here We Come

Just in case any of you are remotely interested, as I was jammed up against the door of the train on my way home earlier this week I decided to grab my camera and take a few photos of the site for the 2012 Olympics.

Yes, they are actually building stuff at last, having left it totally derelict for years while they argued over money.
Inevitably, all the promises of private investors have turned out to be the lies and fantasies we always suspected and they have run away screaming so it's down to us long-suffering taxpayers to bail out the event, which shall now be more along the lines of a local village sports day than the spectacular celebrations of the past.

Here's what we've been paying for so far:

Most of the site - as you can see - is still pretty much of a wasteland …

But the actual Olympic stadium itself is now well under way.
This is partly financed by a football team in the US who is going to ship most of it over the pond after the Olympics, and we are truly grateful to them as otherwise we'd have been using the local dog track.

And here is Zaha Hadid's splendid swimming pool building.
This is the only part of the original grand scheme still being built, and that's only because she is so ornery and shouty and the government is shit-scared of her.
Yay, Zaha! She's awesome!

I'll keep you posted as the work goes on.

Cuff Him, Pincher!

I love my local Plod …

For any Colonials who may not know, "Plod" is a generic term for the police over here - named after the impressively dopey P.C.Plod in the childrens' classic, Noddy.

Quite apart from the fact that my local Plod - based in the nearby village of Acle - have the most awesome pursuit cars (they are the only force in the country to have had the Lotus Esprit Turbo V8 supercar decked out in Plod colours … yay!), their chief also comes equipped with the most splendidly appropriate name.

This is from the newsletter they send round the villages and which plopped fortuitously onto my doormat:

If you're thinking of turning to a life of crime in my part of Norfolk, you're going to get pinched by the Plod, and who better to pinch you than our own crusading crime-buster, Inspector … er … Pincher?

Though "Our area remains to be a safe place to live … ?"
Did you get that translated from the Chinese by Babelfish?
Sheesh!
You may have a great name but please learn our language.

That's a magnificent moustache, Inspector!

And if he's not around, watch out for his deputy!

Hoorah for the marvellously monickered Messrs. Pincher and Cuff.
With names like that, what else could they be but policemen?

WTF Monday

We found these in a toyshop, but I feel they would be more appropriate hiding in one of those shops with darkened windows that sell "Housewifes' Friends".

Not sure about the bok choi though … That's gotta hurt!

Fun With Katie And Dive

Yay!
Back in the world of trashy kitsch crapola that is Great Yarmouth for the second of our "Katie And Dive Do Great Yarmouth" posts.

The main reason we went to Yarmouth - indeed the main reason Katie flew all the way from San Francisco - was to see the justifiably world famous "American Highway" in action.

Here it is in all its glory last February … the world's most pathetic amusement park ride.

We were desperately disappointed to discover that it has gone the way of all flesh and is now the home of a water pistol target shooting game called - rather too grandly - the Britannia Pier Fire Dep't.

All that is left is the sad little track that the cars ran on …

… at least the outrageously camp US traffic cop survives, though now sawn out of his city backdrop and nailed somewhat ignominiously to a fence.

But bugger all round that! We are here to have FUN (in upper case letters, no less).

And FUN we shall have!
Here's the whole of that teaser shot I posted a while back … Katie hi-jacking one of the kiddies' rides.
Where shall she take us, I wonder?

Er … to be weighed, of course.
Katie is super-slim and fit and weighs not very much at all …

Whereas I am super-not-slim and saggy and appropriately hefty.
Having said that, we ate like piggies all week and I still managed to lose five pounds – which (astonishingly) I have kept off.
Yay for unaccustomed exercise (we … er … walked a lot)!

And so to the pier … Disney World has nothing on Yarmouth!
We have the best and most high-tech rides on the planet.
Witness this: the … er … Camel Derby.
I remember playing this when I was a kiddie.
Tremendous fun!

Best of all, however, was the old "penny push"!
Now updated to 2p pieces it is still the exciting if trashy fun it was all those decades ago.

Katie was determined to win …

… and win she most certainly did!
Again and again!
Woohoo!

There are many more attractions to be had on and around the piers.
Donkey rides! Whee!

Dangerous structures!
Yippee!

Teletubbies!
Holy fuck!

And at the end of the Britannia Pier sits - rather incongruously amidst the tat - a genuine Edwardian carousel.

Complete with scary-eyed stampeding horses to frighten your kiddies …

Or - if your children are somewhat differently inclined - an unnecessarily gay pink swan and … er … a chicken.

And when your kiddies are happily whirling around they can look up and see …
Oh-er … a naked boy with his willie out.

And some splendidly graphic … er … um … I really cannot possibly imagine what these ladies are doing.
But yay, boobies!

Those Edwardians certainly knew how to educate their children!

Let's check out the shops, shall we?
Here's our heroine showing her skills as a photographer.
Katie has an eye for a good photo.
Even here!

Check it out!
Cool, huh?

This lady seemed somewhat over-glam for her vocation - I marvelled at her immaculate hair-do - though she was happy for Katie to take her photo and gave us a smile.
We like the sign behind her:
"A smile can make the whole world very happy."
Yay for Glam-Donut-Woman!

And yay aussi for donuts, spelled the American way, without the highly appropriate "UGH" that we brits add to make doughnuts.

We got these bright and early, just as the place was opening and so - luckily - got them fried in the first fat of the day, which was reassuringly clean and clear and free of cack.

Let's not be coy here … they were fucking awesome!
I'd not had a freshly-made donut since I was a teenager and it brought back all those memories of acne and despair.
And gave me a day-long psycho-sugar rush.

We refrained from following that with ice creams …

Not for want of trying on my part, however.

As for this grotesquely nauseating display … I think Katie's body language says it all: "Let's get outta here!"

I wonder where we shall go next?
Tune in and you may find out …

Chips, Mushy Peas And Gravy …

And so let us hie to Great Yarmouth …
"Gem of the East Coast".

The more elderly among you may remember me relating the chilling horror that is Great Yarmouth out of season …

… for any who don't, the whole miserable collection of posts is here: down near the bottom of my "Coast" posts from last year.

The bleak desolation.
The abject misery.
The choking despair of a once-elegant seaside resort gone to rot and ruin.

What better place - I hear you cry - to take my new girlfriend?

To brighten things up a bit we decided to go there during the May Bank Holiday; that traditional mad rush to the coast, where the beaches are packed with bloated sunbathers smeared in chip-fat, burning their distended bellies and fat, flabby, wobbling, mountainous arses to a cancerous crisp and where the entertainment is a non-stop roller-coaster of fun, fun fun!

Here then is the first in a brief series of posts documenting our cheery encounter with the "Gem Of The East Coast" at the very peak of the tourist season.
Scintillating!
Exciting!
A thrill-packed joyride of …
… er …

Hmm … I believe this shop sells both cigarettes and rock (a nasty, sugary confection guaranteed to rot the teeth right out of your head as soon as you look at it), but the message here seems to be slightly confused.

At least the … er … tasteful figurines beside it are more clear in their intention … to put anyone off hot-dogs, burgers chips and fish for life.

Perhaps the crowded beaches will offer us more tempting fare …

Or perhaps not. Here we have the heaving throng of happy Bank Holiday revellers who keep our coastal resorts alive and thriving.

Katie took this one. I love it!
Redolent of dank despair, it reeks of the broken dreams of weeping children promised the holiday of a lifetime.
It would make a splendid postcard!
Katie has an excellent eye for the bizarre and the inappropriate (hey, she's dating me, isn't she?) …

So … If the beaches are not exactly heaving with pretty girls in bikinis and hunky lifeguards in Speedos, let's head across this stretch of sand to the Marina Centre, the hugely expensive entertainment complex built to revive the town's flagging fortunes.

Er … It appears to be closed down.
The only sign of life is this chap practising his keepy-uppy skills all alone, perhaps dreaming of one day escaping this pestilential pit of hopelessness via the lucrative world of competitive … er … keepy-uppy.

Talking of sports, let's head for the golf course …
Ah …
I wonder if Arnold Palmer is aware of this place trading on his name?
I do love the Vegas-style sign, though … Nice font.

So … This place used to be heaving with theatres. Let's see what's playing …

Hmm … They are all shut down except one; converted to seedy clubs or slot-machine arcades.
Still, at least the Hippodrome survives to welcome us with some classy family entertainment.

Before we completely give up on the place, let's look for something to eat …

Ah …
The classic Italian combination of lasagne and chips.

Ugh!
That's simply too disgusting for words.

But hey! It's not all doom and gloom!
Tune in next time to see Katie and Dive hit the glitz and glamour of the piers!

Woo … er … hoo.

The French Connection

It's Monday lunchtime; midway through an insanely busy crapfest at the office, so at one o'clock I make a break for it and head toward St. James's Park.

And who should I see walking across the Cathedral Plaza?

Yay! Allow me to introduce Katie's Cutie Cousin Kim and her wonderful hubby Arthur, over from France for a couple of days. Woohoo!

I love this photo … Not just because it's of Arthur and Kim in front of the Parasite House, but also because they are both from countries who … er … did the right thing and kicked out the monarchy (yay), something I've long dreamed of myself.
Vive La Revolution!
Hee hee …

Kim and Arthur are quite a comedy duo. Wonderful, warm people who I got along with immediately. They are very friendly and very funny.

Regrettably, we had to say farewell (or at least au revoir) all too soon.

But we shall meet again in Paris for Katie's birthday later this year.

Thank you, Kim and Arthur for a lovely lunchtime treat.

WTF Monday

As a change from our regular scheduling of happy, sappy posts about luurve, today we bring you something in honour of the lovely Petrea's wonderfully enigmatic "Zen Monday" series.

Incongruity taken to obscene lengths; this is wrong in so many ways it makes my head hurt just thinking about it.